Latinas and Black Men

There are also a lot of Latina women dating African American men. A great number of Latinas are also with Jamaican men. The reasons vary, but many find Black men more attractive, and they like their swagger. I have had Mexican American women tell me that they don't like dating men within their own race because they are too macho and expect women to do all of the cooking and cleaning. So what say you? What are some of the reasons that you have decided to date outside of your race or culture?

*I specify race or culture because there are Afro Latinas who are dating African American men, thus making them the same race, but they have different cultures: foods, way of living, beliefs and traditions etc.

Case in point:

Mexican Soul Food: Blaxican food truck

I had an idea several years ago about opening up a restaurant that specialized in Mexican/soul food. Well of course, I didn't open the restaurant, but what a great idea--- to take soul food, African American cuisine, and pair it with Mexican food.

Well, there is a food truck in Atlanta that is doing just that. I heard the food is delicious, and I can't wait to try it the next time that I am in Atlanta.

Some items on their menu

(Photo credit: Facebook: The Blaxican Food Truck) Jalapeno mac and cheese and collard quesadillas. Yum!

Other menu items include: Mexy Tacos: barbecue steak, blackened fish, and The Black Zeus which consists of Beef & Lamb Patties topped with Lettuce, tomatoes, Feta and Tzatziki Sauce.

Meet the owner Will Turner of the Blaxican Mexican Soul Food Truck

Husband/boyfriend still married in Mexico

Here are a few true life experiences of American women who married or dated Mexican/Hispanic men. These women later found out that their men already had wives or "women" waiting for them back home.

*this includes Dominican, Peruvian, and Mexican men. It also includes El Salvador, Costa Rica....really any other country.

Case 1: 

An African American woman married her husband legally in 2005. They had two children together. They lived in a small trailer, and the husband worked in construction. The woman stayed home to take care of the children. The situation was always economically stressful. The man would often use his cell phone to call Mexico. His Black wife would find international phone/calling cards hidden in his pockets. He explained these away stating he was calling his mother. She believed him.

In 2011, the woman fell into a deep depression because her husband of six years left her. His explanation was that his mother needed him back home. She stated that she felt that he left because of the stress that they were going through. He told her that he would be back, but that he really needed to see about his ailing mother.

The wife was devastated. She called him over the next several weeks, but his cell phone number had changed. She hunted down a family member who finally told her the truth: the man had gone back to his wife and 3 children. The cousin gave her her husband's new phone number. When she called him, he was shocked to hear from her 6 months later. He told her that he was sorry that he was not honest with her, but that he really did love her. He promised to come back. She told him not to bother.

Aftermath: She was left with unpaid bills, two children, and a worn out trailer. She now only dates Puerto Ricans.

Case 2: 

A Black woman met a nice Hispanic man in 2003, the relationship began fast. The two quickly moved in together, and had two children. She noticed in the beginning of the relationship that her man was very distant. Sometimes he would just stare in space. She would ask him what was wrong, but he would always say nothing. She knew that something was really troubling him but let it go.

The husband would arrive an hour after he left work every single night. She asked him why, but he always had an excuse. She later found out that he was frequenting the home of a co-worker every single evening. He would spend an hour there using the phone.

In 2010, the man was deported for excessive (DU's), the African American wife was left devastated, not financially, but emotionally. She promised to meet him in his native country. She told him that she loved him very much, and that she and the kids couldn't live without him.

She worked hard over the next several months to tie up all unfinished business here in the states before she and the kids moved out of the country. Two weeks before she was due to leave, a woman called her from Mexico to ask her who she was and why she was calling that phone number. The AA woman explained that she was his wife. The other woman stated that she was also his wife of 16 years. She also stated that they had 5 children together.

The wife eventually learned that her husband was calling his Mexican wife every single day in the evening from the home of that friend that he was visiting every night. The wife in Mexico had no idea. She thought her husband was calling her from his own home phone.

Aftermath: When he was deported, he went straight back to his wife and children. He still tries to keep an internet relationship going with his wife in the states.

Case 3:

In 2007, an African American woman from Texas began a relationship with a man from Mexico. He claimed he had been living in the states for the past 5 years. He made a good living in home remodeling. He spoke pretty good English, and he expressed the desire to eventually become a U.S. citizen.

Over the next couple of years, the woman helped her husband send money back home to finish building their dream home in Mexico. He even provided pictures of the progress of their home. She was warned by others to make sure that house was for her. She ignored the advice.

During her four-year relationship with him, she admitted that he was abusive both physically and emotionally. He threatened to take their son back to Mexico. She couldn't understand why things had suddenly taken a turn for the worse. The closer they got to finishing their dream home, the more he tried to destroy their relationship. She later found out, that the man had finished the home, and was preparing to go back to Mexico to live in it with....not her, but his wife and kids.

Aftermath: She lost thousands of $ helping him build his home in Mexico for his other family. She is raising her son as a single mother while she finishes school.

More case studies coming soon....stay tuned.

related article: How to find out if he has a wife in his country

Dangerous Encounters: Malcolm Shabazz death in Mexico

Malcolm Shabazz case: This case happened earlier this year. I meant to do a post on it but never did. I wrote a small article about his death when it first happened.

Malcolm Shabazz was the grandson of the famous leader Malcolm X. He was also responsible for the death of his grandmother Betty Shabazz.

Malcolm Shabazz felt comfortable with his Mexican friends, and he liked the Mexican women. Sources say, they were all over Shabazz, and the guys at the dance club didn't like the attention he was getting from the ladies. His family members are asking why his "friends" didn't warn him about certain parts of Mexico. And who is the mystery Mexican woman who lured him to that section? Lots of questions are left unanswered.

Malcolm Shabazz' suspicious death in Mexico was ignored by the media. In fact, very few celebrities mentioned his death, if any at all.

Shabazz went to Mexico with his Mexican friend Miguel Suarez and Suarez' mother. He was murdered there, and the details and circumstances surrounding his murder are still very sketchy. But the story goes something like this: Shabazz went to Mexico with his friend Miguel Suarez and his mother for a visit. Shabazz was receiving a lot of respect in the Mexican community due to his activism and his association with Malcolm X.

During the visit, Malcolm Shabazz was partying in a dangerous part of Mexico with his friend. Malcolm received lots of attention from the Mexican girls. They all wanted to dance with him, and they all wanted to "be" with him that night.

It seems as though Malcolm Shabazz may have wanted to take one of the girls up on their offer, and he unknowingly walked right into a trap. It was speculated that some of the Mexican men in the club did not like the fact that Shabazz was getting so much attention. So they hiked up his bill to make him pay substantially more money for their beverages. When Shabazz refused to pay, they killed him.

He was found in a gutter in the seediest part of Mexico. His "friend" stated that the men had taken him to the back, leaving him without any knowledge of what happened to Shabazz. When the men let him go, he went back to the club looking for Malcolm Shabazz and found him in or near the drainage ditch.

These are the two Mexican men who were charged with the murder of Malcolm Shabazz. Photo credit: Mexico police file photo

A lot of people are asking questions about what exactly happened to him. Many speculate that it was indeed a set up. I guess we'll never know. But, it is one of the reasons why I will most likely never set foot in Mexico. It is increasingly becoming more dangerous, not only for the native people, but for American tourists.

Shabazz' body was returned to the U.S. over a week later. The family barely had enough money to give him a proper burial. It is a very sad story all the way around.

Making the Mexican husband some Cuban food tonight

Photo Credit: Facebook

I have several Cuban friends with whom I love exchanging recipes. I really like the idea of having a truly multicultural family. I think Teo should try other ethnic foods apart from Mexican and Soul food. So as we speak, I am going to try the following recipe. It is a Cuban dish.

Now, I don't have time to make tamales today, but I came up with a great way to make a bread that tastes similar. Basically, I use maseca or masa mixed with a little corn meal, and I make it the same way one would make traditional cornbread. The only difference is that I add chicken broth to it, and cook it on top of the stove in a black cast iron skillet instead of baking it. Don't forget to cover the top.

Dinner tonight: Carne de puerco, frijoles negros, un tamal-well sort of, arroz blanco. agucate, y tomate.

A side of pork, black beans, a tamale-like bread, white rice with a little sugar, avocado and tomato on the side.

He'll probably think the rice is too sweet. Most Mexicans do not like anything sweet. Cubans and Dominicans love everything dulce.

Mexican men who cheat on their wives with American women

*Disclaimer: this information is regarding Mexican/Hispanic/ or Latino men who are undocumented in the U.S.

Photo Credit: A small house in Mexico. Many women are left in these conditions. (This photo is the property of Traciy Curry-Reyes's Mexican blog. The photo was contributed to this site by Saul Ramos.)

***Wow thanks for the emails guys. I got so many questions about this that I guess I should address it. No, Teo does not have a wife or a "mujer" or kids in Mexico. He came to the U.S in his early twenties. I made sure to do my homework before getting involved. I wrote the article because so many women are writing to me about their experiences. I thought I would share them with you so that you might avoid some of these situations.

It is unfair to say that ALL Mexican men or Latino men cheat. However, as already discussed in a previous article, there have been situations where American Black women and American White women have found out much too late that their Mexican man has a wife or a "mujer" in Mexico.

First let me explain how or why this might happen.

The man leaves his family back home and crosses the border in order to find work. The intention, in the beginning, is quite pure: they want a better life for their family.  But, many times what ends up happening is they never return. Their wives or "mujeres" are literally left at home, not knowing what is going on in the U.S.

They end up meeting American women and starting lives with them. Sometimes they try to keep both families going for a while, other times they leave altogether without telling the women anything.

Two points: In many Hispanic countries, they don't legally marry, but they are considered a family, especially in the rural areas. Here in America, it is considered as "shacking." It is not quite the same in those countries.

I mention this because, the man may not be legally married, but he could be "juntado"....that is....he has someone waiting for him back home. Most of the time the woman has his children. If you are "juntado," then you are just as unavailable as someone who is legally married, or at least that is how they see it in Mexican rural areas.

These family unit stays in place for up to 20 years without legally marrying.

More about women left at home waiting

The days are long. They literally wait by the phone to see if their man has successfully made it across the border. Sometimes, the man calls weeks or even a month later. From there, the women literally wait. They wait for them to send money back home, they wait for their calls, and they wait for their return.

According to the documentary "The Other Side of Immigration," the women days spend their days taking care of the kids or taking the kids to school. Later, they return home to do  laundry, house cleaning, cooking, and watching telenovelas.

They spend all of their younger years just waiting for these guys to come back. Some do, but many never return....unless they are deported. Many times the men just forget all about their families back home.

The kids in Mexico and other Latin countries grow up without their natural fathers while the men make families with American women.

If the man is deported, then the American family is also left without their father, unless she can arrange for his papers.

***Be careful out there ladies. Do everything you can to find out his marriage/family status.

Related articles:

Mexican men who cheat on their wives with American women

Husband/boyfriend still married in Mexico

Should I ask him out?

From Shay,

I see this Latino guy everyday at work. He actually works at a site across the street from my job. I see him every morning, and every morning, he looks at me. He looks like he's really interested, but I don't think he speaks English, and I don't speak Spanish. Should I ask him out?

My answer:

Hmmmm, How long has it been going on? Or, how long have you been seeing him in that location? If it has been a while, then maybe he does not speak English. And if he does, surely he would have made more contact with you by now.

Yeah, I would say....get a little closer to him to see if he is wearing a wedding ring. Then say, "Hola" to him in Spanish. Then you'll be able to find out if he speaks English or Spanish.

1. If he speaks English
Then I would be a little apprehensive if he didn't come over to you to try to get your number or to talk to you further. In most cases, that means he's not that interested.

2. If he speaks Spanish
Most likely, he didn't know what to say to you. He probably assumed that you didn't speak the language, so he didn't feel comfortable talking to you. If he falls in this category, then I would say, yes, give him your number, BUT find out first if he is married.

Ask him two questions: Eres casado? Are you married?

Then specify, tienes mujer? Do you have a woman?

If he says no. You're doing good. Move to step 3.

3. Give him your number. See if he calls you. If he calls you within a day. That is a very good sign that he's interested. Take it from there. Look out for clues and red flags.

Don't let the fact that he doesn't speak English intimidate you. When you are dating a foreigner, some of the most passionate relationships happen even when you don't understand one another's language.

Spanish cultural note: You can say estas casado or eres casado. Estas casado is more common. But, eres casado is more formally correct.

Let me know how it goes....:)

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